I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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