So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
