This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
