Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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