He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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