Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
