Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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