Soap is not a condiment
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
