I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
