i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
