I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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