What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
