NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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