screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
