i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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