Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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