How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
