I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
