he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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