my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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