That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
