Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
