I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
