my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
