White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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