Yo dont text me then not text me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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