I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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