What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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