Barsexuality is the new black.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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