I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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