she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
