do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Randomize
