I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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