Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
