Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
