Midget sex pt 2 tonight
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
