I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
