I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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