I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
