Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
