Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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