Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm at about main and main street
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
