ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
