It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
