Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
