why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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