it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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