There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
