At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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