somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
