he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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