Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
